Where does it say in scripture that a man's role as "head of the household" includes being the sole or primary source of income and we should raise our boys as such implying that girls should not necessarily have a financial education or should only have the goal of being a wife and mother and not worry about being educated how to produce an income? I have not found anything Biblical to support this line of thinking and have also asked a couple of other people about it who haven't found anything either. Have you?  I know that I have heard this taught as being "the Christian way" in the past, but am questioning it."

Answer

There is certainly no Scripture whatsoever that states explicitly that a family has to raise a boy to become the "only" bread winner. Neither, does it say at all that a girl has to be raised with the intent that they can not make money or help financially in the home. In other words, there is no requirement, injunction, or command that states this. So, I agree with you here. However, (this however is the critical thing) Scripture does give clear indications as to the high calling, role, function, and priority for each gender. Therefore, again Scripture gives direction to what is best.

First, the woman has a distinct role, function, priority, and very importantly, a high calling. This calling may narrow the focus based on the Scripture references. For instance, 1 Timothy 2:11-15, esp, 14-15 states that a woman will be rescued in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control. The statement Paul is making is that even though Eve was responsible for bringing sin in the world in some sense through being deceived, God is delivering her from this stigma in such a way that childbearing (that is raising children) will be one of the main vehicles to recover from this taint on her record per se. In other words, God providentially worked it out that the rest of the women after Eve would have a special position and role in raising godly children. In other words, Eve and her posterity would not be forever marked by this transgression but released to a new calling and grand new role. Therefore, the first thing we observe here is that women have been given in a real sense the high calling of being the first called in family life to direct the children.
 
Secondly, Titus 2:3-5 is another critical passage to look at. Here we see some distinct functions that the older women, proven in character, should be teaching the younger women who are married. First it says in verse three with regard to the older women that they should be "teachers of good things." What are these good things? Paul follows up on them: "that they admonish the young women to love their husbands" (priority #1 husband), "to love their children" (priority #2 children--notice the highest form of inner quality or virtue "love"), "to be discreet (to be self-controlled)," chaste" (pure), and:
 
"homemakers" (NKJV), "workers at home" (NASBU), "to be busy at home" (NIV), the Greek here is "oikourgous" which is a compound noun from "oikos," house; "ergou," work. Hence, "workers at home." Here the focus of their occupation narrows a bit with regard to priority or main role. Notice it doesn't give you all the details associated with workers at home. But, it does give you the home base of operation if you will. In other words, the woman should be taught the first prioities: love their husbands, children, be temperate, holy, good, and obedient to their own husbands (the implication here is his headship, cf Ephesians 5:25-32) ultimately so that God's Word is not blasphemed (cursed, maligned, distorted). In other words, the young woman as taught and admonished (Greek: "sophronizosin" for admonish, or to train) is to conform to the Word of God with regard to their role. In other words, the Titus passage is teaching what 1 Timothy states with more detail. Her primary role, not her secondary role, is the home. Notice that the part of the word oikourgous is oikos where other words like oikonomia (where we get our English word economy) is in the same family stressing the management and administration aspects. In summation to the Titus passage, there is a strong emphasis on the home-front as the base of operation of a young woman. Her heart should be centered on this first and other things as secondary: and secondary issues maybe even complementary to the primary task.
 
Thirdly, another passage bearing on this issue is 1 Timothy 5:9-16. This passage also looks at the roles of women according to the biblical perspective and primary duties. These verses particularly look at the issue retrospectively through the widow's list. In other words, it looks at the requirements to be a widow for assistance through the eyes of their life-record. It lists their accomplishments to be their inclusion for the list. Therefore, the list of accomplishments is a tell-tail objective source to what the Bible teaches about the lives of faithful women. One of the first things on the list is verses 10, & 14 : (v.1), "if she has brought up children." This is again reminiscent of 1 Timothy 2:14-15. What's part of her priorities--bearing, raising, training, nurturing children. Bringing up godly seed!! Later on in the same passage, verse 14,  Paul reiterates his desire for young women who do not fit the criteria of widow. What does he say? "Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, 'manage the house. (NKJV)'"  "keep house" (NASV).  Again here we come across the word stressing the household. The word in Greek is "oikourous." In other words, keep the house, manage it, administer it, or order it. This one is just slightly different from the Titus one, but essentially the nuance is the same--household as priority. Therefore, what is in mind again? The center of a woman's heart besides her husband and children is the home.
 
Lastly, the Proverbs are another source of instruction with regard to the woman's role. We don't have to go into all these passages, but one in particular has a significant bearing on our topic---whether a woman can produce an income? Whether a woman can have financial education, go to college etc.? Once again look at Proverbs 31:10-31. Verse 10 is the start, here you can see that the message is to wives---"An excellent wife, who can find? (rhetorical question) The question begs the question--hard to find!! Albeit, "her worth is far above jewels" (precious and costly jewelry); but, if you find her, what a find!! For she will be a delight to the eyes and more valuable than precious diamonds. Next verse, again priority #1 her husband: "the heart of her husband trusts in her." This is looking at in reverse--he trusts her because---she takes care and loves her husband so well that "he will have no lack of gain."  Verses 13-27 describes this wife that is truly energetic, industrious, diligent, and persevering. Notice the focus again is on "household" (verses: 15, 21, and 27). Notice also three grand traits in the verse mentioned: she provides, she protects, and she has a purview (a thorough watch) of her household. In addition, her diligence and purview of her household leads her to be virtuous.
 
Part of her industry in achieving excellence and maximizing her household effectiveness is her ability to be savvy with her finances: Proverbs 31:13,16,18,20, &24. Basically, her use of business, making things to sell and buying things is for the use in very practical things pertaining to the management of our household. In other words, her priority of providing. protecting, and guarding her home is primary while her other tasks are secondary or subservient. Not only does she exercises entrepreneurship for her smooth running household--husband is satisfied, children are fed and clothed--but she even takes care of herself, v.22. Furthermore, she takes care of those who less fortunate than her--the poor, v.20. She is also very wise--Proverbs 31:26a. She is also very kind--Proverbs 31:26b. She is diligent overall--Proverbs 31:27b.
 
Overall, this woman fears the Lord--Proverbs 31:3ob. This woman is an excellent woman--Proverbs 31:29.
 
In summary of all this, we have these four priorities that can be gleaned and set out in these non-exhaustive but concise passages about what we need to teach our young women:
 
         1. Character--fear of God, faith, purity, self-controlled, holy, kindness, wisdom, love.
         2. Conduct--good works, serving the saints, diligence, submissive, obedient, respectful, teachers of good   
             things
         3. Centered on the home--keepers of the home, workers at home, homemakers, providing for the home,
             protecting and guarding the home
         4. Compassionate--hospitable, service-centered, assisted those in distress, helped those less fortunate, etc
 
In summation, the Bible is not against women working, or girls getting a college education, or trying to assist the husband with household finances,however, as the passages above teach us; if the work distracts and derails the priorities then its time to reevaluate if work is actually hindering or impeding a lady from her primary task or role.
 
In other words, is there enough time in a day for you to focus on a 9-5pm job and these demands, take care of your husband, children, yourself? Can a woman balance her life so meticulously that her spiritual life is in order, her husband trusts her, her children are safe spiritually, physically, and emotionally? If any of these are out of balance, then some serious considerations to determine what's best is in order. In other words, women working outside the home may not be the best thing in our society.
 
Notice I say what is best, not what is bad or sinful. Every woman must be serious and honest with themselves as to what they can and are willing to handle as far as work is concerned in order to evaluate what is not just good or better, but what is best overall. For this reason, some Christians have held to the standard of the best situation or ideal situation which is to teach women to stay home because its easier just to maintain balance. There is just not enough time in a day to do all of it that the world demands of them now. When you work outside the home it is simple common sense that you will be under the tyranny of the boss' demands and the deadlines and commitments associated with the job. So, is it a sin or unbiblical for a daughter to be taught that she can assist financially by producing income on her own? the answer is no. There is no commandment she is violating. Proverbs 31 is a great example that she can make, work, and sell and buy, but always in a way that it doesn't distract from her primary duty--her household. If a woman can work outside the home in a 9-5 job and still take care of her household then she is not sinning--just very busy!! Her own conscience must alert her if she becomes imbalanced. In addition, some women have to work because they are single mothers. This is a whole different ball game. This is for another time, how to deal with this. But, for now, I hope this answers your question. Very importantly, it is never appropriate to have an overly critical mindset or judgmental attitude toward those women that work outside the home.



"For we can do nothing against the truth, but only for the truth" (2 Corin.13:8)
 
Blessings,
Pastor James T. Cater
Miramar Church
6390 SW 32nd Street
Miramar, FL 33023
(954) 981-4677
pastorjim@miramar.org
www.miramarchurch.org